The secret diary of Flid Boy. An everyday superhero

My name is Derek but everyone calls me Flid Boy. That's ok because I'm disabled.

In English today we watched Rainman. I laughed so much I induced a spak attack. Charlie Babbitt is such a dumb cunt! Blind Jimmy Jensen kept moaning because he couldn't see the film. He was sat at the front for fuck's sake. I kicked his dog in the nuts. Mr Lasenby the English teacher says, tomorrow we can watch The Furry Hat Chronicles with the lights off.

In Science I built a time machine out of tin foil and bottle tops and traveled back in time to Jurassic Park. I didn't see David Niven but I did get chased by giant squirrels. Vicious bastards. Mr Baldass the science teacher gave me detention for being a complete fuckwit.

At church tonight, Father Callaghan asked me if I had considered Euthanasia. I told him that Chinese food gives me the shits.

Mom bought me some new clothes from You Beautiful Mong today. Tommorow she's taking me to get my hair cut. I'm gonna look like a right fucking spastic.

Dear God, please don't let me wake up again with MacGyver's cock in my mouth. He spilt his love in my eye this morning.

Categories: The Secret Diary of Flid Boy