Genghis Carps

Our monkey researchers have discovered that approximately 16 million men around the world are descended from the warlord Genghis Carps.

Carps conquered most of the Anal Peninsular in the 13th century and founded an empire, which at its height, stretched from the Anal Cleft to the Furry Love Palace.

Although a little runt of a man, Carps was popular with the ladies. What he lacked in stature he made up for with his impressive penis which he used to wang about in battle.

Carps would ride into battle on the back of a donkey, wearing nothing but a cheeky grin and shouting his war cry, "Oh, shitting hell." Carps' military conquests were frequently characterised by an immense loss of blood, usually his own.

Documents recently discovered show that after each battle Carps would have first pick of the lovely ladies and would engage in grotesque acts of hand spankery in his wank tent.

Descendents of Carps include the Flemish Royal Family, Felicity Kendal and Larry Hagman.

Categories: Carps