New UK chart entry
Yesterday saw the release of Bin Laden's latest 'Terror tape'. Speaking from an undisclosed location he had this to tell us,
"We've spent a longtime in the recording studio getting the sound right for this one. We were trying for more of an acid jazz/blues feel so we pretty much recorded the whole thing wrapped in duct tape just like Stanley Gitz did in the early 1960's."
The tape features a raft of covers including, Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep, Loveshack, My Gang, You got me Babe, Imagine and Madness' crazy classic, Driving in my car (bomb). Bin Laden was criticised last summer for his over-reliance on cover songs.
"You know, it's really hard for me to find the time for my music what with touring, international terrorism and my volunteer work as head of the Arabic Biscuit Foundation. I think on reflection though that anything I wrote myself would probably end up hate filled and unlistenable."
This is intimated by the titles of the few original songs on the tape. 'Bomb the shit out of the USA', 'Suck my big fat one, Canada' and 'Bush loves cock'.
President Bush is said to be putting together a collection of his country-swing-soul classics in an attempt to deny Bin Laden the number one slot. Tony Blair has offered to insert his penis wherever it is necessary.
And what of rumours of a possible combined tour?
"I think it would be good to combine a tour but I don't know if Bush and Blair could take the pressure. I've been doing my tapes for a while now and have built up quite a following within the Dogging community; my fans are pretty extreme. Although I'm already pretty big in the East my main ambition is to break America, a tour with Bush and Blair could help. I wouldn't rule it out."
Bin Laden will commence his 'Band on the run' tour in late June.
Categories: John Craven’s Newsround
posted by Manny Kulkowski at 10:10
9 Comments:
Infidels. May your jissum run dry
21:36
Am I right in thinking that Bin Laden pioneered free form jazz spunk with the aid of the CIA back in the 80s?
21:38
Yes but then the CIA turned their back on him, opting for the more melodic rythmn&sodomy.
22:19
His cover of Bridge over troubled water is fucking awesome
22:59
Well,I'd just like to say,that I've heard that Bin Laden lip-synchs to backing tapes when he performs live.
17:52
I saw Bush once. It scared me what with it's lips that can't speak an' all.
09:48
Yeah know what you mean. One swallowed my whole cock up once. I had to really thrash about for a good half hour before I could get it free. Boy, won't be doing that again in a hurry!
10:21
Bin played Sheffield University once in the early 80's. He was off his tits on PCP and Coke and did nothing but dance around like a robot for about forty minutes before simulating an "eppi" on stage. It was dreadful.
23:10
I saw the same gig and I thought it was wonderfully entertaining. Bin was really exploring the boundaries of the 'gig' in it's classic sense by removing all music, singing and proper dancing. Sheer brilliance. Experimental performance at it's height.
20:21
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