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"Before I visited YOU BEAUTIFUL MONG I had no chance in Hollywood, I'd given up and got a job as head tea boy in a local office. I was working my way up to being allowed to hold briefcases. But now look at me, I'm starring in every piece of shit going and I've shagged at least three women with my pants off! Thanks YOU BEAUTIFUL MONG!"Our dedicated team of stylists are waiting to hear from you.
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YOU BEAUTIFUL MONG - BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT ANY WORSE.
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posted by Manny Kulkowski at 11:26
23 Comments:
Well done Tom, it's because you're beautiful on the inside.
01:20
There's nothing beautiful about internal organs, particularly when they're spread all over the sidewalk and your best friend just took a bullet in the head.
02:27
War is hell, Grover but Tom Cruise films are far more painful and should be banned under the Geneva convention.
06:57
Very funny Fucknut, but let's see you laugh it up when Victor Charlie's using your best buddy's face as a hanky
07:54
Thats nuthin' Grover,did ya ever have to sit through "Jerry maguire"?
08:48
I know what ya mean,man...cried my fucking eyes out,in front of the squad...
08:54
I've seen...rain man..
08:55
does Tom Cruise drive a Blue Nissan Micra...if you know what I mean?
10:27
No I sat through Charlie chowin down on my best buddy's legs as he lay howlin, his guts all spilled over me man.
10:37
yeah but did you ever have to sit through "vanilla sky"?
11:05
and what the living fuck was "M:I.2"???????????
11:08
I spent time in the 'nam with Grove.you gotta go easy on him here....When Charlie captured him they made him watch Top Gun...
11:30
Ain't been able to use my eyes since but there was no parade for me. Oh no.
23:36
There might've been. How would you know you fucked up blindo.
00:16
I never knew Cruise was a mong. Had always suspected as much when he refused to play the part of mong in rain man. Hoffman makes for a good mong, do you think he's one too or did Cruise give him tips?
05:04
I'd like to shag women with my pants off
14:25
I've tried phoning 0800 MONG but the line is always dead. Would someone please help me. Oh, I've just cocked one off
14:27
You're sick. All of you
14:54
I had an anal comb-over,the girls in the office were still repulsed.don't waste your money.
18:29
I like Metallica and Pantera, enjoy watching anything featuring Biology and like to eat out whenever I can. I have a fun outgoing personality and am up for anything apart from anal. Anyone want to be my friend?
10:07
Fuck yeh - i've been wanting to meet a like minded person who doesn't do anal. I fucking sick of Wheelchair Warren insisting that he rams me up the cadbury valley, i mean for fucks sake he's just got married. All i want is a friend who will suck and swallow is that to much to fuckin ask.
Sorry about the swearing - i'm very emotional right now.
13:16
Dear Captain Darling, darling my heart leaps, what joy as I also love to suck and swallow. Hope we can meet sometime. What do you think of the collapse in turd trade on the island of Homos? I think it's terrible, what are those poor homo's to do now?
20:10
hey there Captain Darling,I'll give ya sumthin' to fuckin' swallow.
13:07
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