Dick Shavings - Soap Watch

Wednesday
Alan Turner develops dry rot and is condemned by the local council. Betty heads to Hull for a life of prostitution.

Ivan is adamant that he is not full on gay. Paul heads to The Woolpack in his lady car but gets lost in Milton Keynes.

Thursday
Alan Turner knocks back the scotch in an effort to cure his dry rot. Betty returns from Hull with herpes and attempts to soothe Turner's old, wrinkled cock. But dry rot has gone down to the root.

Lesley fees guilty about Simon's Thalidomy.

Ernest Hemingway returns to the village and admits that he actually died in 1961.

Friday
As if things couldn't get any more worse for poor, retard Alice, today she goes for a scan and is told that her baby is French. Sam is too fucking dumb to realise the seriousness of the stiuation and is more concerned with the secrets that Doris the sheep is keeping from him.

Meanwhile, Turner admits to a shocked Steph that he has dry rot and it may be hereditary. Steph crumbles.

Elsewhere, Paul is still lost in Milton Keynes.

Sunday
Steph gets all psychotronic on Alan Turner's fat, candy ass.

Donna is having doubts about her choice of luncheon and asks Marion if she is really undead.

Kelly tells Ivan that Paul has returned from Milton Keynes. But when Ivan heads over to see Paul, he gets kidnapped by the local neo-nazis.





What a load of old cock. This is Dick Shavings playing with himself.

Categories: Dick Shavings' Column