Fern Britton - A small country in a big package

Fern Britton, co-host of This Morning, is to be declared the tenth smallest country in the world, at a special ceremony to be held by the United Nations.

The Rough Guide To Fern Britton
With a population of 483 people, none of whom are permanent residents, Fern Britton's main source of income is tourism. The capital Arschloch lies in the southern half of the country and sits proudly on the Anal Peninsular. The city was founded on a cluster of mudflats now linked by the Grand Arsch Canal. Although a little dilapidated, Arschloch has the most spectacular nightlife in Fern Britton. Beatnik poets mingle with German film stars, models and swaggering transvestites to create a good natured outdoor vibe.

The northern half of Fern Britton is dominated by the twin peaks of the gigantic Titano Mountain Range. Each measuring 8844 m high, the peaks were first scaled by Edmund Hilary in his Sherpa Van, in 1953. Most attempts at the summit are made during April and May and climbers will usually begin their ascent well before Tiffin. The north eastern peak is technically the harder to climb. During the 1996 climbing season, fifteen people fell to their deaths trying to reach the summit.

Deep within the Equatorial Belt lies The Enchanted Lady Forest. Weather conditions provide for a hot and humid climate, with an abundant rainfall in the monsoon season. The excessive rainfall provides the ideal growing conditions for luxuriant vegetation and exotic fish. Nine tenths of the region is covered by rainforest but this is shrinking rapidly due to over logging. Fern Britton's Lady Forest experienced a golden age in the 1970s when it was declared the eighth wonder of the natural world. Today the Lady Province faces civil unrest, with the indigenous Bolweavel population threatening to declare independence from the rest of Fern Britton. The Enchanted Lady Forest should not be entered after midnight.

Categories: John Craven's Newsround