Beckham faces charges.
Victoria Beckham faces charges of gross fraud and deception today at the Supreme Court of Justice. She will be grilled over reports she filed with the media in 2001 regarding an alleged solo career in music.
Westminster City Council brought about the charges as part of their new rolling programme, 'Clean Up Nonchalant TVtypes'. Ken Livingstone explained today on the steps of Nelson's column; a look of dazed euphoria on his face,
"What C.U.N.T is really all about is dealing with these celebrities who think it's ok to just fuck about doing coke and not really produce anything worthwhile. It's becoming a major problem in the city, perhaps above congestion. Just the other day I was having a meal in Bon Salon, the fictional French restaurant, and I was served a portion of Jodie Marsh on Jeff Brazier. There was coke everywhere. Nobody knew how they got on the plate but it's indicative of this issue. Celebrities have filled our streets like human garbage. I hear Paris is experiencing similar problems but I never believe a word they say."
It is believed Victoria's team of high powered lawyers will cite her current work in the fashion industry as 'useful'. Some wrangling over the definition of 'useful' is expected but the outcome seems clear to Ken.
"We wanted to start with a high profile name just to get the message across. We mean business. I am determined to see her go down for this. Production of the album 'Victoria Beckham' alone was a complete waste of resources not to mention the subsequent 4 singles. This is London for fucks sake, we can't have this."
Victoria's Lawyers told us,
"The charge of wasting public time and money sounds trumped up to us and we're fairly certain it's made up but all the same we could lose and Victoria will be facing 17 years in solitary."
Ruling is expected by the end of the week.
New laws could mean the wholesale export of redundant celebrities. The Philippines have expressed interest in a Jade Goody/Dave Dickinson package but the BBC have dug their heels in and vow to fight Dickinson's conviction.
The BBC issued this statement,
"He's the brownest man we've got on daytime TV."
Categories: John Craven’s Newsround
posted by Manny Kulkowski at 21:26
12 Comments:
I think these so called stars should be made to pay their debt to society.
12:35
You cunts.
22:35
I think victoria becham is amasing,she has th most unrealisshtic smile but i stil lov her,,...!!!//.
17:56
sorry about the spelling mistakes I was being fellated by my P.A.
18:41
Dear David, your P.A. is Mrs E. Cavanagh ya big homo. Go punch yourself in the face
00:18
Focking cock off you focking cont.
15:47
I was travelling to London last week and found entrance to the city terribly hard as there was a three-mile celebrity jam blocking all the main routes in. The police soon arrived and began dispersing them with small tactical missiles. They may have been nuclear as just recently my skin has fallen off. Fucking celebrities. Can't they use the Big Brother house as some form of honey trap, then we could vote each week who gets exported or killed or whatever.
09:57
Send the bastards to the fictional country of France. That'll learn the bastards, every last jack one of them
10:07
Mais Non! We do not want zees useless fookairs over 'ere. Quatre Chien!
10:52
Why not just stop watching TV, listening to music, watching films and reading books. Then there would be no need of so say celebrities.
10:14
It wouldn't be so bad if celebrity still meant more than just having your ugly fucking face shown once on telly for doing fuck all. Can't we go and populate another planet and leave these fuckers with the French?
14:36
Mais Non!!!!
14:43
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