HOLY COCK FIRE.
The Adventures of Phillip Hitech would like to welcome Alan Scrotum to our writing team. Alan has severe learning disabilities and a number of sexually transmitted diseases, which include leaping cock mustard and full on anal rust. He has however managed to live a full and exciting life disguised as an Aubergine in the local Tesco's fruit section and only last week competed in the national Soggy Biscuit play offs. He came 3rd and will soon be representing his country in Belize. We're hoping that training for this won't interfere with his writing and that he'll still be able to knock one or two out for us too.
Alan hails from Vaginasville, Tennesse and is indeed the biggest cunt we have ever met. We found this stock photo of him pinned to the back of the door in a public toilet.
Alan can be found with the Monkeys in the research department most wednesdays and some fridays.Categories: Unclassified
posted by Manny Kulkowski at 09:56
6 Comments:
Best of luck, really. This man single-handedly sunk Pebble Mill without a trace. It was one of our best daytime shows ever! Be aware that this man also keeps a Colt.45 and a can of petrol in his desk drawer.
13:49
I remember his disastrous appearance on "Theo in the kitchen"....I don't think Theo was expecting to be sodomised.
20:34
Theo always expects danger in the kitchen.
23:38
Dear BBC, thankyou for your concern but let me assure you. We have bigger weaponry than him and the co-ordinates of his desk are punched into an inter-continental missile in Germany should things get too out of control.
10:10
No, I wasn't really expecting that and it did make me seriously think about my career choice. But hey, that's TV, no? I suspect even Natasha Kaplinsky has been buggered live on TV in her early years. I hear it happened to Micheal Aspel too. So, all I can say is keep watching the show and remember....there's danger.
14:29
I think this is the funniest thing since 9/11.
17:14
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