The secret diary of Flid Boy. An everyday superhero

My name is Derek but everybody calls me Flid Boy but I don't mind.

My friend Robbie died today. He had a massive head. Robbie used to finger the gerbils at school. Fucking window licker. Robbie wanted to be a gangsta rapper when he grew up but mom says he's going straight to hell. Apparently there's no wheel chair access in heaven.

On the special bus this morning I sat next to George and Mildred, the conjoined twins. I really fancy Mildred, she's got nice cakes. I want to ask her out to the school disco but I can't seem to catch her alone. George goes every fucking where with her.

At church today I learned about Jesus. Father Callaghan nailed me to the cross and poked me with a spear. He said it was no use screaming because God doesn't listen to spastics.

Madigan let me use his computer tonight. I like to hang out in the chat room for vulnerable retarded kids. I made a new friend, his nickname is Kiddie Fiddler and he's the same age as me! He says he knows some games we can play with our clothes off.

Categories: The Secret Diary of Flid Boy