Dick Shavings' Celebrity News
Fandabidozi!!!Alas, there will be no pantomime season for The Krankies this year due to Wee Jimmy Krankie’s fall from a beanstalk at The Glasgow Pavilion in 2004.
Wee Jimmy Krankie plummeted 300 feet to earth when the beanstalk he was climbing experienced a serious malfunction. Wee Jimmy suffered a compressed flange bone, herpes and a perforated anal bum drum.
Taggert said, “It’s murder.”
Private Frazer said, “We’re doomed.”
Billy Connolly said, “Jesus Christ man, for fuck’s sake, let him die a woman.”
Luckily Wee Jimmy Krankie is still alive
Wee Jimmy Krankie said, “I have no memory of attaining terminal velocity, or lying on the stage buggered up and bleeding, with people rushing to help me and cutting my legs off. The first thing I remember was waking up in hospital in a full body cast. The pain was fuckin’ tremendous.
One year on and I’m still sore all over. I can walk a little but I can’t have anal sex without feeling sharp pain and most of that comes from the perforated bum drum. It’s too early to say if it will come off. The doctors say it will be six or seven years before I can think about being properly healed. Right now I can’t even sneeze. Hopefully everything will repair itself in time and I’m sure the bruising will disappear.”
The above dialogue has been translated into English.
The Krankies@home http://www.krankies.com/
If you like it in a kilt http://www.visitscotland.com/
Don't be gay http://www.billyconnolly.com/
Categories: Dick Shavings' Column
posted by Winston Q Niles at 14:22
3 Comments:
Fan fucking dabby dosey
05:29
Oh well no great loss they were crap anyway! cant u get them back up and push them off properly this time.
05:31
hoots mon, i hope you're no taking the piss out of wee jimmy Krankie. och aye the noo.
14:02
Post a Comment
<< Home