People with eyes should look away NOW

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Griffiths to take on MANBONE

Spirograph TV have announced the launch of their latest quiz-soap-detective-docu-drama, MANBONE.

MANBONE will follow the exploits of Detective Crusty MANBONE as he seeks to get a question right at the local pub quiz whilst getting incredibly drunk on Pernod.

A Spirograph TV spokesperson told us;

"MANBONE is really about the inner struggle we all face. Namely, do I really need to be a cunt and participate in pub quizzes? The script openly poses the ethical question, don't they really spoil a good night out for everyone else?"

"MANBONE will feature an array of hats. In fact there hasn't been as many hats on British TV in one go since The Onedin Line."

Derek Griffiths is to play MANBONE in a break from his typecast role as children's television plaything.

Derek told us;

"I'm hoping to follow in the footsteps of Lorraine Kelly and break out of comedy into drama; that is afterall where I started out after attending the HamBurglar School of Autistic Arts."

"I am very excited about MANBONE. When I get a character like this I like to treat them as my own, so after getting to grips with my secret Crusty MANBONE I realised just how gritty and, well, bloody raw the old boy is."

MANBONE will be assisted by his trusty sidekick, Spunky Biscuit and will be on our fictional screens by mid-October.
Derek Griffiths will be seeking medical advice immediately.


Anonymous Tony Maloney said...

Will this show also have that fat bastard Humpty Dumpty in it? He used to make me laugh with his zip for a mouth and...hang on that was Rainbow wasn't it. Will it have Zippy and the ladyboy hippo in it?


Anonymous Lord Cash Register, north hants said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


Anonymous Lord Cash Register, north hants said...

I had no idea that Spirograph TV was a fictional french product. It's RIDIC-ULOUS!!


Blogger Manny Kulkowski said...

Dear Lord Cash Register,
No Spirograph TV is not french but sadly the only televisual sets that can pick it up are and as such do not exist.
Anyone confused about this issue should seek an appointment with their MP who will surely call them a Cock and throw them out. Deservedly so.


Anonymous Professor T. Andrews said...

Oh that's RIDIC-ULOUS!


Anonymous Private lady, a lady for money said...

I am looking forward to the hats. I only hope they include some with feathers as they remind of my early days of buggery when I was as tight as a newly recruited sailor.


Anonymous kenneth branagh said...

Oooh Missus!


Anonymous steve chester, lady molester said...

It's about time somebody addressed this issue in a detective story come quiz come hat fantasy. I attended a local quiz recently and found that all of my answers were incorrect. I really did believe that Gibralatar was discovered in my ass by Johnny Columbus and his RimBus. A Rim Bus is a pervoited term meaning to ride around the rim of a rim job before diving in to pick up the kids from the pool.


Blogger George Belloe said...

So Manny..if we could sort something out...if you advertise me-
you can borrow some of my women , yes...?


Blogger Manny Kulkowski said...

I have seen your 'women' George and regret to inform you you must have got terribly confused during Biology.



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