Let's all get behind Crouch and give him a push.
We here at the Adventures of Phillip Hitech have decided to fully back Peter Crouch during his epic struggle through the World Cup. Say what you will about his robot dance and lack of internal organs we feel that here among us is one brave man.
To raise awareness of Peter's plight we have launched the 'Let Peter Crouch play in his wheelchair' campaign.
Our own team physician, Dr Larry Badjob had this to say;
"On the evidence of not only Saturday's performance but many previous outings I can only conclude that this man suffers from extreme Spastosis. To force him to play out of his chair, which he so clearly needs, is tantamount to animal cruelty. I've been on the phone to Rolf Harris and he'll be looking into it."
To highlight this campaign we are asking everyone to sit down and act like a spastic for one minute on June 15th at 11:00.
Please show your solidarity.
Categories: John Craven’s Newsround
posted by Manny Kulkowski at 17:44
21 Comments:
You can count on me, I'll be acting like a spastic on june 15th
20:06
Crouch is part disabilist, part robot and part tallest man ever. Catch the next England game and you'll witness the most random striker you'll ever see. It is true that he has no internal organs, particularly lacking in guts.
My favourite cheese is homegrown. Will send you a package for sampling in your laboratory of evil.
I hope you too will be acting like a spastic on the 15th.
And yes, we have plenty of oxygen over here thanks.
10:33
Tony, nobody will know the difference.
10:34
During Englands football match on saturday against the Paraguayans,I mistakenly believed that I had turned on the incorrect channel and was viewing "Attack of the 50 foot spaz".So I am agreeing with your blog wholeheartedly.I found Crouch to be quite a terrifying looking abomination of nature.still,up the hammers!or whatever you chaps say.
03:12
Come now - Crouch is fine as long as the ball is passed directly to his head...
03:31
Crouch is master of the random attack as his random arms and legs would suggest.
10:42
Veronica, the cheese is kind of flowing too. My guess is you'll find a highly developed society in there but please let me know when you find out. I'd be careful if putting it in a centrifuge though. The last person who did that got attacked and killed dead.
10:49
Mr iiq374, that may be so but this man needs his chair. With that motorised fucker he'd be zipping round the pitch with assured ease. He won't be crying for his mum all the time either. I hope you'll be joining in on the 15th.
10:57
Dear Col Marvington hedley-grange-made-up-name, I believe Peter Jackson will be picking up the Peter Crouch story and plans to release a B-movie version of his life. Amazingly this will be called Attack of the 50ft Spaz. He is indeed a terrifying sight.
11:05
Don't you think that Peter Crouch has an unfortunate name. I wonder if his surname is just something else but throughout his life people of always shouted to him in photos and going through doors "Peter, crouch!". Just a thought.
p.s. Like the site. May have to link - check out comoox.com.
Matt.
13:05
I would like to donate my lower intestine if this will help Peter Crouch's cause and help England win the world cup
17:49
Ah bless you little Jimmy but don't be so fucking stupid. Sell it on Ebay, it may help keep your orphanage open.
20:03
G'day mates.I'm Peter,I'm gonna be making the movie-"Attack of the 50 foot spaz" about me fave monster Peter Crouch.Controversially me movie will take 3 hours til ya get to the football match,then ya finally see Crouchy ,who is gonna be a digital effect played by Andy Serkis.See ya at the oscars!
23:18
you are my favourite director Mr Jackson,I loved revenge of the siff,anyway,in king kong 'ow come he didnt fling his own shit at them planes?
01:21
Mr Kulkowski,how dare you accuse me of using a made up name!!!!
05:54
I would add a funny comment but find myself unable to due to the fact that I'm a cock.
09:57
Has anyone seen my chicken?
10:53
I preferred Revenge of the Ciff! What a powerful cleaning action! Not quite Cillit Bang but hey, what is!
22:41
Actually Philip stubbs is a very talented and handsome musicician in popular beat combo "Orgasmatron",whereas that Paul Carpenter is a wayfaring philanderer who wears pointy hats and skips around the place singing "fiddle de dee" and wearing tights.
23:51
As always you cease to amaze and titillate. Who the fuck cares about fucking soccer anyway? I do like spaz's in wheelchairs though Manny; they've a more difficult time of gettin' away from my drunken self. I get a bit Randy from the drink and fancy a boy in a chair once in awhile. Sure as shit beats chasin' them 'round the neighborhood!
Missed you Manny. Did you Miss Ruby? Say yes....consequences of any other answer are too horrible to describe.
Love me,
Ruby
04:39
In that case I'm surprised he isn't called Peter Yougormlesstwatgetoffmypitch. There's a free can of spam on it's way to you now Matt, oh and yeah have a link too.
20:21
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