People with eyes should look away NOW

Friday, August 03, 2007

Star of the month: Dolly Parton!

Those born within the influence of Dolly Parton will find that working 9 to 5 is no longer an option following lengthy leg surgery to correct a lazy Hambone.

On the 11th you will discover that Mexico is a place and not, as previously believed, a person. This will cause a stirring within the Geographic community and may result in your total and absolute alienation from human society. Not to worry however as there remains many other societies you can join, including Otter, Ant and Trout.

Beware of Valerie Singleton's Tit Rope on the 24th as this could result in extreme chaffing. Employ a sufficient Tit Cream such as Sauce de Loin to avoid this.

See for further information.

Dolly Parton is a wind sign and as such most persons born under her will experience medical conditions such as John Inman's of the Quim and Facial Crumbs . Neither condition is fatal but people will pay good money to see both in some form of modern day freak show.

Your lucky number is: Jubblylicious.

Warning: Astromological readings provided by Russell 'my eyes are bleeding' Crowe.



Anonymous george Lazenby said...

This cannot be true as I have John Inman's of the Quim and am neither born this month nor even female. What do have to say about that you cocksuckers?


Anonymous Irate in Manchester said...

That bloody excessive Wab Taxation really spoilt the natural habitit of this nation. Fucking fictional Frenchie. How dare a nation that doesn't even exist tell us how big our wabs can be?! I would suggest invasion if they only had a real country to invade.


Anonymous Ian Pian said...

I agree but then I don't exist either.


Anonymous Thieving in Liverpool said...

I would be irate as well if I lived in Manchester.


Blogger Manny Kulkowski said...

Dear Mr Lazenby, you are undeniably some sort of freak and as such should confine yourself to a circus. I am sure they'll be happy to have you if you are actually in fact alive.


Anonymous noel edmunds said...

I am not gay.


Anonymous Brian Clague said...

Look, I'm sure a lot of people find this "blog" mildly amusing, but to be clear, I find it offensive and unnecessarily pornographic, I hope nobody under the age of 18 reads it or you could find yourselves in legal situations.If I were you I would take down this particular item, and apologise in case you offended anyone.In future you should keep the tone cleaner and more suitable for all ages. If you do this immediatley I believe you will save yourselves any future problems legal or otherwise. But I will disappear for half an hour now for a good wank.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Clague.
It seems to me that it has become evident as to the fact that what it appears to be is that the only person offended here is you.
Knowing that you spend every bit of your free-time fapping like any healthy freak would be doing to old wrinkly saggy titted women..

Or you could be attempting to pass off a good trolling; in any case, you fail miserably & your tactics are seen right through.
Have a nice day.



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